


And I Miss Him

by myaekingheart



Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, Loss, Multi, Newborn Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 04:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30032715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myaekingheart/pseuds/myaekingheart
Summary: Kakashi decides to visit Kurenai in the hospital after the birth of her and Asuma's daughter, Mirai.(Not necessarily *explicitly* KakashixKurenai, but could be heavily implied)
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Yuuhi Kurenai, Hatake Kakashi/Yuuhi Kurenai, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	And I Miss Him

Kakashi strolled down the hallway of the hospital, feeling very out of place and very ridiculous. He didn’t _want_ to do something like this, but the gift shop’s supplies were rather sparse and he had to pick his battles. Still, nothing could truly make him feel any less embarrassed about being seen with a giant mylar balloon shaped like a baby bottle.

The moment he reached Kurenai’s room, however, he paused and began to second-guess himself. What was he doing? What was he _really_ doing? The answer: he was trying to show his support, he was trying to congratulate her on the new child she had just brought into the world. _Asuma’s_ child.

He wondered what Asuma would think had he still been alive, and how much longer he would’ve even lived. Would he have gone away to war, too? Or would he have bypassed the chaos in order to stay with his wife? Kakashi wondered if Kurenai still considered herself his wife. After all, can you still call yourself that if your husband has died? Are you still a wife? Or are you just something worse: a _widow_.

Kakashi shoved the thoughts out of his head. All that mattered right now was Kurenai and her child. And he had every right to congratulate her. After all, they were comrades. They were comrades and she was hurting.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Kakashi rapped lightly on the door. He would’ve hated to wake her or the child. A part of him prayed they were asleep so that he could walk away and avoid the subject altogether. Shrug and say _oh well, I tried_. But then he heard her voice, dripping with exhaustion.

“Come in.”

Kakashi slowly slid the door open, and it was clear by the look on Kurenai’s face that he was not who she had been expecting. Kakashi’s masked face turned bright red and he tried to hide the balloon behind his back but, as was expected of balloons, the thing was far too unruly and merely bobbed around whacking him in the back of the head instead.

“Sorry to disappoint you” he smiled sheepishly.

“No, it’s no disappointment at all” Kurenai replied, forcing a smile. “I just…wasn’t expecting you, Kakashi.”

Kakashi scanned the room—Kurenai was laid up in her hospital bed, blankets neatly tucked around her legs. Beside her was a small, clear bassinet on a rolling set of drawers. Inside, he saw the squirmy swaddled figure of Kurenai’s child. His breath hitched in his throat.

Kakashi did not have much experience with babies. To be fair, he was kind of terrified of them. They were so tiny and delicate, so vulnerable. He never knew how to interact with them, and god forbid should he ever have any of his own in the future. And yet there was also something intrinsically heartwarming about them. Kakashi didn’t think he fully understood that until now.

Kurenai leaned over to try and get a better view of Kakashi’s, erm… _gift._ She restrained a laugh as she motioned for him to step inside. He gave a single nod as he did so and slid the door shut behind himself.

“That’s very, um…generous of you” Kurenai then said, motioning to the balloons. Kakashi inched toward the table against the wall where a small assortment of arranged flowers and teddy bears and congratulatory cards had already been placed. He lifted one of the teddy bears and set it promptly back down again atop the balloon’s ribbon in hopes that the plush would keep it in place.

“I guess I was a little late on…all of this” Kakashi replied, nodding his head toward the presents.

Kurenai shook her head. “You’re fine” she assured him. “After all, you were busy.” _Fighting in a war_ , she mentally added.

Kakashi wondered if she knew. But then again, she had to know. Shikamaru was not one to keep secrets such as this. Besides, in a way, it was almost even…poetic. To think, he and his comrades were fighting alongside their beloved sensei again…at the very same moment his wife was giving birth. To think that his child’s cries echoed through the village just as he was sealed away for good. Kakashi wondered if Asuma could hear it. Even from all the way out there, on the battlefield, in the beyond, could he hear it? Could he hear the very first wails of his daughter? He had a _daughter_.

“What’s her name?” Kakashi asked, hesitating a moment before inching closer to the bassinet. He peered down cautiously, catching a glimpse of her face within that pale pink blanket. Her face was chubby and scrunched up, her eyes puffy as if they were not entirely open yet. She had a thick layer of black hair on her head and her mother’s nose.

Kurenai sucked in a deep breath, restrained tears. “Mirai” she answered. “Her name is Mirai.”

A glimmer of knowing struck Kakashi’s chest. _Mirai_. The future. If only she could know a future in which her father existed, in which her father was still alive. Kakashi smiled softly down at the child. “It fits her” he croaked.

“It was Asuma’s idea” Kurenai replied. Her voice was strained now, her throat tight with impending tears. She tried to remain composed, however. She needed to be strong. After all, now she had someone to be strong for. Kurenai did not want her daughter to know a world in which her mother was weak. She never wanted her daughter to see her cry. “He never knew what we were having when we died” she went on to explain. “It was too early. But he always said that if we were having a girl, he wanted to name her Mirai. He thought it was a good omen, that she would be lucky and prosperous.”

Kakashi gave a single nod. “I think she will be” he replied.

“I hope so” Kurenai said. “I only wish she had been just a little luckier.” She spun the ring on her left finger and the tears began to stream down her face on their own accord.

The two of them stood there in silence for a long while then before Kakashi said it. The sentence that broke her completely. “Asuma would be proud of you.”

Clapping a hand over her mouth, Kurenai bowed her head and finally let herself break down. She had tried so hard to remain strong, to not let herself cry over it. Asuma died nobly. He fought hard and now he was in a better place. But the _better_ place was not always the _right_ place. And the right place would’ve been here, with her. They could’ve been a family. _Could have_.

“You still miss him, don’t you?” Kakashi asked softly, and suddenly he found himself inching closer and closer to the hospital bed. To _her._

Kurenai nodded. “I miss him so much” she whimpered. She sucked in a deep breath then, wiped away her tears, try to compose herself. She gazed over to the little baby in the bassinet, reached her hand down so that Mirai could grasp her index finger and hug it close. “I wish he could’ve met her” Kurenai whispered. “He would’ve been an incredible father.”

“I know” Kakashi replied. “But you’re going to make an incredible mother, too.”

A little incredulous laugh, teary and tight. “Do you think so?” she asked.

Kakashi fed her a reassuring smile. “I really do. After all, you did a great job training your genin. Were always there for them, looked after them. You took Hinata under your wing when her family wanted nothing to do with her anymore.”

“But genin aren’t like babies” Kurenai reminded him.

Kakashi thought back to his own team: to Naruto’s inability to eat anything other than ramen, to Sakura’s constant whining and Sasuke’s incessant brooding. Sure, they may not have been _quite_ like babies but with the run for his money that they gave him, they might as well have been.

Kurenai caressed her the back of her daughter’s tiny hand and pursed her lips. “I just…I don’t want to do this alone” she finally whispered.

Kakashi finally rested a gentle hand upon her shoulder, reassuring and kind. Kurenai was, evidently, taken aback by this. She gasped, looking up at him quizzically, and Kakashi immediately regretted ever getting too close. But she did not protest. She did not swat him away. If anything, she seemed almost…comforted. Comforted by the tender touch of someone who truly cared. Once he knew that she was alright with the action, Kakashi relaxed and his hand grew slightly heavier on her shoulder. Then, with a soft smile, he assured her, “You won’t have to.”


End file.
